Finding Hope and Balance During the Holidays: A Fertility Specialist’s Perspective
The holiday season can be one of the most challenging times for individuals and couples going through fertility treatments. Whether it be the logisitcs of navigating care around travel, reacting to unsolicited advice and questioning, or being around others who are celebrating joyfully with their completed families – the holiday season can highlight family-building struggles.
As a fertility provider and former fertility patient, I would like to share a few thoughts on managing the holiday season for fertility patients:
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It is OK to feel however you feel during this time. There is no shame in feeling sad, guilty, joyful, stressed, or any other feeling you may have. And you if you choose to skip out on holiday gatherings because it may be too triggering for you – that is completely acceptable and you should not feel remorse for your decision. Only you can decide what is best for your own mental state.
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Sometimes when we are suffering from infertility or recuperating from a pregnancy loss, we feel guilty if we allow ourselves to feel joy and to celebrate. Remember that it is absolutely fine to embrace happiness and allow it in even if you don’t feel complete.
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There are very few things you can potentially control – and so try to take control of those things. You can’t control other people. You can’t control what they will say or do. You can’t control what your reproductive organs will or will not do. You can control the environment you will plan to put yourself in. You can decide what mindset and approach you want to take during the holiday season. You can control your vigilance and persistence.
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The holidays are an opportunity to take a step back and appreciate the positive things you have in your life. There is always a light in life. Try to do something special for a loved one or show support for someone who has supported you
The holidays bring an opportunity to reset and restart. Take the time to recharge your mind and body. Put aside enough time during the rush of the season for yourself! A new year is ahead!